My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3.5 years. He has been the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and he is also my best friend. We moved in together in last June. It seems that since then we have been growing apart.
It’s like we have very little time together and when we are at home together he is on the couch in the living room watching TV or playing poker and I am at my computer desk adjacent to the living room. I have noticed that we are talking less and less and arguing more and more.
I also get upset when I am doing the majority of things around the house while also trying to get my homework done. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to do household chores. He is also bad about letting me know when he will be home late or when plans change. I am very organized and ambitious and it seems that he is very laid back. I appreciate this quality in him adn feel liked it balances me but sometimes it also leads to problems when things don’t get done.
I love this man dearly and dont want to lose him. I’m 24 and have given him most of the last 4 years of my life. I know he also loves me dearly and expected the first year of us living together to be the hardest. I just feel like if we keep going the way we’re going that it will end up in the end of our relationship. Do you have any suggestions on how to get our relationship back on track?
Ronald
Tags: Adn, Computer Desk, Homework
Arnold
aw that’s sweet of you. I’m a 17 yr old boy track captain
but this is sweet. I wish my future girl is caring as you..
YOu should write him a note. He’ll see how serious you are about the relationship. And hopefully, if he loves you, like he should, he’ll do his best to make you happy
Judy
This is the time to work out the problems, BEFORE marriage
Larry
Well you could always try not doing the chores for a while. i know this may bug you but eventually they will get done. let him be the one to do them. also try putting some of your stuff off to make time for him. be sweet and surprise him with loving things that let him know you care
Eric
I Have no experience but i know how you feel.Just take a day break of all of this and just relax.Think about all the good stuff about him and you being together and how much fun you have.Then when you get a chance talk to him and see if he feels the same way.Maybe you guys should stop living together for a while or try to work things out.Its all up to you.Just take some time and really think about it.
hope I helped!
Jared
yall need a heart to heart conservation. let him know how you feel and maybe there is something that you can do to make things better to that he might add.
another thing you might try is to forget everything that pisses you off for one night go out with him …dinner, movie, walk, picnic… whatever and just have a good time. you’ll realize how much you both care for each other and hopefully get back on track the way things were before and may carry on thu the rest of the relationship.
or try both together!
Edgar
you think he does to little to help out, maybe he thinks you do to much. you could try to make a deal. he is in charge of doing part of the housework, and you have to make time to chill and watch TV or something with him. If he does his part it will make it easier for you to hang out with him.
It may seem like you argue more and more because everytime you do talk you feel like you have to get any “problems” out in the open while you have the chance. Most likely, your arguements haven’t increased just a decrease in conversation.
More hang out time to talk, will help keep arguement from building up and becomeing all you do
Lawrence
I think that you are only now noticing these things about him because you live with him. try not to let it bother you. if he forgets to tell you something, forgive him. he is not(i dont think) forgetting on perpose. Your right. he does balence you out. im layed back like your guy here. i make myself do ‘training’ to remember to clean. i make myself clean one certain thing for a whole week. if i forget to, i have to do it an extra day. if i remember, i clean 2 places or a larger area. it works. you should also have him do FUN memory exersizes. have him remember silly little details of something and tell you every day or an a regular scedual. this should help. ; )
Adrian
Many couples that i know gradually take each other for granted, hence the drifting apart issue. However, I have known couples who are close even after years of staying together.
Naturally, being the busybody that i am asked them for the trick to maintaining their relationship. They told me that the biggest things are the love that they have and the commitment to create the relationship that they want with each other. Sometimes it is necessary to go back to the times when they first started dating or when they just got married just to keep the spark alive.
There is a chinese saying “Marriage is the tomb of love.” The courtship portion of the relationship ends upon marriage. The husband doesn’t find it necessary to send flowers to his wife anymore to save money etc..etc…
My guess is that you guys have drifted into that phase. There is something between the 2 of you growing before you 2 got together. Do something to keep the spark alive. You know what he likes and so go and surprise him. Then let him know gently but honestly how you feel and what you would like to do and for him to help.
Guys can be a bit dense sometimes, tell them and don’t let them keep second guessing you. Be patient with him, cos doing chores may not be his first priority, most importantly, you must rank first right?
You have friendship on top of love. That’s a lot more than what others have already. Keep that in mind.
Darryl
This is hard. It happend to me. My girl left me and I didn’t see it coming. Does he have any friends you can talk to? Maybe tell him you are going to spend a few days at a freinds house, to reevaluate your relationship. Or just flat out tell him enough. Either talk to me now and tell me where this is going. Explain to him it might be easier to end it now and get the pain over with rather than let drag on. These things are not easy. Sometimes we as guys become self absorbed and take for granted of what of what we have. Walk through the house ***** and see if he notices you. Tell him it’s the only way you can get his attention. Good Luck.