kerri_lynn01 asked:
I feel like there is nothing left of my marriage. There seems to be so much distance. There is no intimacy (due to me not wanting any) no communication. Basically, he comes home from work and goes into the game room and plays playstation or poker all night. We have an 18 month old son. I asked him to go to couseling 8 months ago and he wouldn’t. Now that I talked to him about a seperation, he wants to try couseling.
I feel like there is nothing left of my marriage. There seems to be so much distance. There is no intimacy (due to me not wanting any) no communication. Basically, he comes home from work and goes into the game room and plays playstation or poker all night. We have an 18 month old son. I asked him to go to couseling 8 months ago and he wouldn’t. Now that I talked to him about a seperation, he wants to try couseling.
Has couseling worked to save your marriage or is it too late?
Diane
Tags: Marriage Counseling, Poker, Seperation
Allison
I don’t believe in couseling. How can a person (stranger), besides you and your husband, strenghten your marriage? If your husband and yourself want to work this marriage out, it needs to come from ya’ll heart. Ya’ll both need to put in %110 and stick to it.
Marlene
It’s not too late! In fact, it is necessary now that he is willing to go. You DO NOT want your poor son to have to go through a divorce if at all possible. I think you should just **** it up and deal with the distance for the next 17 years for your son’s sake. He needs a mother and a father, preferably working together to parent him. When he turns 18 you can get on with your life.
Antonio
I believe that counseling can work “if” you both want it to work. If either one of you isn’t willing to put forth the effort needed to fix your relationship then I don’t see how it could help.
Matthew
It’s too late when the divorce papers are signed, IMHO.
So he didn’t want to do counseling before. He does now. You have marriage vows and a child. Something had to be going right there at some point. If nothing else, see the counselor on your own.
Counseling can and does work, but it’s not easy. You have to BOTH make a commitment to listen openly and work on whatever issues may be there. This is not an issue that came on overnight, and will take time to repair. Are you and your husband willing to fight for your marriage? Only you can decide.
I hope it does work out.
Brenda
I would do whatever it takes to try and save the marriage. If you know anyone who has been to counseling, ask them if they’d recommend their counselor…there are good ones out there and bad ones, but it’s most important for BOTH of you to be willing to and participate. You have a child, so it’s important for his sake to at least make an effort to work things out…and if they don’t, at least you will be able to look him in the face and say “we tried everything, and it just didn’t work”. Good luck!
Roger
believe in counseling. It can work, and it often does. It should always be the last step if there is even a shred of hope that a marriage can be saved.
I’ve seen some amazing turn arounds and success stories.
Ray
It didn’t work for us but think positive it may work for you.If you both want it bad enough anything can happen !
Bernard
Yes counseling can help save a marriage if both of you work at it and if both of you wanna start counseling then you should give it every thing you have to save the marriage. Remember love is a commitment not just the worm and fuzzes
Heidi
I understand that you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But you should give it everything you got to try and save the relationship. Try everything that way if it doesn’t work out at least you can say that you didn’t give up without a fight. Plus when you have a child involved it is very important IMHO to do everything in your power to save the marriage.
Consulars can help, regardless of what people think. They are an outside perspective and can see things differently. Right now you are in a bubble and can’t see things from the outside. Same with him. Work on this together.
Marion
i think you explained it when you said no intimacy in the marriage..how can you communicate with each other if there is no intimacy there…for a marriage to work all functions of it must work together….communicating,,intimacy even when you don’t feel like it..maybe you should go to the counseling by yourself first. and work out some problems you have then you can work on your marriage. if you want to tell me more about what is happening with you just send me an email im a pretty good councilor my self lol…
Rafael
Yes,I think you should try counseling,but only if you truly wont to stay with him.I’m saying this because counseling can only solve issues that normally couple can’t discuss about,or are unable to say what they feel to each other or hear each other out.
But if you don’t have feelings for him any more,than it’s time to separate.Just make sure you both take care for your child and make him always feel loved.
Joel
I will give you the short version of counseling. You have forgtten what turned him on about you in the first place. You forgot to be sexy, and commit time to him, you have better things to do other than make your husband feel special.
He does not want to offend you, or make you feel bad so he doesnt tell you that his needs are not being met, he just ***** it up and shuts up.
This is what they call a dissconnect. If you want him to come back around, dont make the assumption he is always going to be there. Because what will happen some ***** will weasel into his life, who at least in the begining will fullfill the void you have created.
There ya go, just saved you 500 bucks.
Sue
I don’t know anyone that it has helped, but it may. The problem is some people cannot talk to each other and that causes alot of problems or one person gets way too mad and then a big fight, not helping anything. If that is the problem, then maybe it would help. My husband has a hard time talking and he takes everything so personal, sometimes it’s impossible to talk to him. Do you want a separation? If you are no longer happy and want out basically then counceling won’t help.
David
It absolutely works but only when both partners are willing to do the hard work it takes to make it work. If both are not willing to be totally open to truthfully telling their side and honestly listening and both doing the work then you are just kidding yourself and you might as well go ahead with the divorce.
Alicia
Instead of others counselling, u should try to understand each other. U just try identify the subjects/ matters he likes. U can propose to go for a pleasure trip. Just try to know, whether he is irritated by any of your behaviour/ interrogation, Try to know, at what point he feels happy. e.g. In case in presence of some friend or relatives, if he feel happy..let him have his company in your presence. He will feel that u pay respect whom he likes. At least in presence of such person u will feel to talk.
It may time..but the exercise is good.
Elmer
In order for counseling to work - BOTH parties need to agree that they want this relationship to be saved and to work. I’m not sure you’re both there yet…..
I personally have never been to counseling, but I know it has helped many couples pull through and become stronger. If you truly love him and he truly loves you - it doesn’t hurt to give it a try.